The End.
Aha! No, that is not the end. My answer to that question would have to be... Music. Yep, you see it right. For me (as for many others) music is what helps me write. When the right song is playing it causes me to get me creative brain going! Others, can just look at a picture or go for a walk and be inspired... But not me! When I try that I chase squirrels and play in the park... It gets me no where.
But, I will do nothing better than to show you through my writing to show you what I mean:
(Click on the song as you read, so you can see how music inspires my writing)
"You don't believe me?" I asked, he really thought that I'd lie to him... That I'd hurt him that way. I thought that what we had was true, I thought that he loved me the way that he said that he did.
"How can I believe you when there are people telling me other things from what you are saying now!" He shouted back at me. Unbelievable, he would really believe other people over me... Choose others over me... the way he always did. And I knew why.
"This is about that night isn't it?" I asked, in a hushed voice, "It's because of what happened? Because of what I did..." Even though, I loved him, he was always going to hold me to that one mistake.
"It's always about YOU and that stupid night! I told you that I was over it!" He shouted, running his fingers through his hair, turning his back on me. "I still can't believe that you did it..." He voice trailed off, I could tell that he was holding back tears. It killed me everyday knowing that I had done this to him, that I had broken such a great man because I was angry... because I was stupid.
"It was a mistake, I've told you a million times that I was sorry." I whispered, it was true. I did apologize... a lot... but not a million times, maybe it was more.
"I really don't care about your apologizes," He shook his head, his eyes going darker. He looked lost in time, going back to the memory that I knew killed him everyday. "I just can't believe that you did what you did, that you cheated on me..."
"It was a mistake!"
"I don't care!" He glared, his eyes spitting fire at me. The look he gave me more now than ever, hate. And the look killed me more than my own guilt. "You slept with him! You slept with my best friend!" I flinched at the truth, it was worst to hear it out loud. "And now, when people tell me that it has happened again you don't except me to believe them?" It wasn't that I didn't... I didn't want him too. He walked up to me, closing the distance between us, leaving me breathless. He was the only one that could do this to me.... Make me feel so... Dead. And yet, here I am; Alive and unable to breathe. He put his hands up to my cheeks, wiping away tears that I didn't know were there. "And the crazy thing is, even though you break my heart, even when I know you're lying... I want to believe you. I want to believe that you are still the girl that I fell in love with," He looked into my eyes for a moment before continuing, "But then I realize that I can't find her because she no longer exist." He laughed softly, "It's kind of silly actually."
"What is?" I asked, lost in his eyes and his voice. That was the kind of power that he had over me, always able to make me listen and keep me calm... even when he was breaking my heart.
"That even though you disgust me," He kissed my forehead before stepping back, he continued, "I still can never find it in my heart to hate you."
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But you see what I mean, the song set tone and the setting of the story. How the characters were feeling, what made them angry, sad, in love, etc.
So, before I go, take this advice before you decide to start writing: Not only do what inspires you, but go with what your heart wants! My heart tells me to listen to music and then... BAM! I get something out of it. I think of it as me finding my story underneath the sound... Hey maybe you can too!!
- Leilani Loa-Neal
